Number of ponned lectures: 20 and probably counting.
I realised I would be flying back in 1 week + time :DDDDD
Didn't feel as though 3 months has passed really. Then again I was sleeping more than half the time here.
Looking forward to going back already. I have a lot of things in mind that I want to do when I get back. It feels like even after 3 months London still did not give me the home feeling, which is probably why I so dreamy nowadays.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Friday, November 29, 2013
As of now I have ponned 17 lectures. 3 more to mini-celebration number 2. Esther has been calling me a delinquent ever since I ponned my 2nd lecture LOL. My test is tomorrow afternoon and I'm studying for it now. It's one of those super rare occasions when I study for a test the day before (and probably on the morning of the test as well). If this happened back in high school or JC I would surely have died for the test.
Oh and apparently today was Thanksgiving. I only realise because the hall food was doing some Thanksgiving special thing, which meant there's turkey and some special salad. Ahhh I should have taken more of the salad :/ But other than that I don't see people really celebrating Thanksgiving here. Maybe it is more widely celebrated in US? Now is more like everyone is preparing for Christmas, as many of the buildings are starting to put up Christmas decorations already.
Other than that, the days are getting shorter. Like the 4 pm here is similar in brightness to the 7 pm in Singapore, so by 4 pm you don't feel like going out anymore. And if you were outside you feel like going back already. So I suppose the shorter daytime do affect people's life somewhat.
Oh and apparently today was Thanksgiving. I only realise because the hall food was doing some Thanksgiving special thing, which meant there's turkey and some special salad. Ahhh I should have taken more of the salad :/ But other than that I don't see people really celebrating Thanksgiving here. Maybe it is more widely celebrated in US? Now is more like everyone is preparing for Christmas, as many of the buildings are starting to put up Christmas decorations already.
Other than that, the days are getting shorter. Like the 4 pm here is similar in brightness to the 7 pm in Singapore, so by 4 pm you don't feel like going out anymore. And if you were outside you feel like going back already. So I suppose the shorter daytime do affect people's life somewhat.
Friday, November 22, 2013
In the end it is inevitable that long distance will cause people to drift apart.
And now I'm suddenly annoyed because some people were right all along -.-
While I do look forward to meeting you all when I return, it doesn't hurt anymore to think about the fact that I'm perhaps missing out on your lives or that we are separated by a long distance.
On a side note, I have ponned 12 lectures as of now :D By the 10th ponned lecture I did a mini-celebration by buying a lot of groceries. When I have ponned my 20th lecture I shall do another mini-celebration. Maybe this time I shall buy ice cream completely for myself.
For those people wondering about my studies *cough*, the modules I'm taking is still very easy as of now, as can be seen from my large number of ponned lectures and still doing well. (Yes doing well not merely surviving). Today just got back my tutorial and the tutor was saying the cohort average was 9-14/20, while I stared at my 20/20 lol.
There would be another test next week gahh. Suddenly feel like they are rushing with the exams. Luckily I've got one module where there's only a final exam and no tests in between so I only need to prepare for two modules' worth of tests.
Though friend-wise I'm still stuck at one. Not that I'm actively trying anyways, can't be bothered with active friend-making nowadays.
And now I'm suddenly annoyed because some people were right all along -.-
While I do look forward to meeting you all when I return, it doesn't hurt anymore to think about the fact that I'm perhaps missing out on your lives or that we are separated by a long distance.
On a side note, I have ponned 12 lectures as of now :D By the 10th ponned lecture I did a mini-celebration by buying a lot of groceries. When I have ponned my 20th lecture I shall do another mini-celebration. Maybe this time I shall buy ice cream completely for myself.
For those people wondering about my studies *cough*, the modules I'm taking is still very easy as of now, as can be seen from my large number of ponned lectures and still doing well. (Yes doing well not merely surviving). Today just got back my tutorial and the tutor was saying the cohort average was 9-14/20, while I stared at my 20/20 lol.
There would be another test next week gahh. Suddenly feel like they are rushing with the exams. Luckily I've got one module where there's only a final exam and no tests in between so I only need to prepare for two modules' worth of tests.
Though friend-wise I'm still stuck at one. Not that I'm actively trying anyways, can't be bothered with active friend-making nowadays.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Yoooo I'm keeping this blog updated because blogs need to be updated.
This week is supposedly reading week, where there's no school and students are expected to study or revise their various modules. Well at least expected to do so, though most people would have gone to other places for vacation cus it's basically a one week holiday.
I had two tests during my reading week, one chem and one molecular bio. But the molecular bio was dam screwed up because halfway through the test the fire alarm went off, so everyone had to evacuate the building. As the test was done online and there was a countdown timer for it, everyone's test during that time period was voided. Probably going to have another test next week or something.
Other than that not been doing anything new, because there's test this week I've been staying in my dorm almost 24-7 (good excuse hurhur).
Oh I found 90% dark chocolate at Waitrose. Maybe there's also such thing in sg but I've never tried it before so I bought it. The taste is really very cocoa, like unsweetened chocolate tending towards coffee already. But it's nice, because if you explore through the bitter taste slowly you would taste the sweetness at the end. Though I think I would do better with 85% or 80% instead.
Oh yes I also need to share this hilarious thing that happened during Halloween. I paid for this halloween boat party organised by the singapore student society, where we basically party on a boat during halloween on the river thames. So I went for the event and they have to check everyone's baggage before they are allowed onto the boat, and also need to check the person's ID to ensure he or she is of legal drinking age because the boat sells alcohol. I forgot to bring my ID, so I told them I never bring it, so they told me to wait at the side until they have finished checking everyone first. Then after that they said I can go onto the boat but need to check my bag. THEN I REALISED ITS THE SAME BAG I CARRIED FOR SATURDAY NIGHT COOKING. So they found this weird wrapped up package and when they uncovered it, a longer-than-six-inch ceramic knife revealed itself. The security people were like 'HOLY SHIT. THAT'S SOME LETHAL SHIT MAN.' while I'm all ._______________________. 'shit'. At first they allowed me to go onto the boat but have to confiscate my knife (as well as my cutleries). Afterwards they brought me out and told me I'm not allowed onto the ship anymore cus the captain is dam pissed off lol. And they can't return me all the stuff they confiscated (probably cus if I go onto a rampage after that and started killing people they would be partially responsible). So I kind of lost my possessions and was barred from the event. In the end worked out the best of the situation and took photos along the river instead.
Tried out the panorama function on my phone and it turned out quite well I guess. The river thames reminds me of clarke quay actually. It's like basically clarke quay lor. Or more like clarke quay is modeled after river thames.
This week is supposedly reading week, where there's no school and students are expected to study or revise their various modules. Well at least expected to do so, though most people would have gone to other places for vacation cus it's basically a one week holiday.
I had two tests during my reading week, one chem and one molecular bio. But the molecular bio was dam screwed up because halfway through the test the fire alarm went off, so everyone had to evacuate the building. As the test was done online and there was a countdown timer for it, everyone's test during that time period was voided. Probably going to have another test next week or something.
Other than that not been doing anything new, because there's test this week I've been staying in my dorm almost 24-7 (good excuse hurhur).
Oh I found 90% dark chocolate at Waitrose. Maybe there's also such thing in sg but I've never tried it before so I bought it. The taste is really very cocoa, like unsweetened chocolate tending towards coffee already. But it's nice, because if you explore through the bitter taste slowly you would taste the sweetness at the end. Though I think I would do better with 85% or 80% instead.
Oh yes I also need to share this hilarious thing that happened during Halloween. I paid for this halloween boat party organised by the singapore student society, where we basically party on a boat during halloween on the river thames. So I went for the event and they have to check everyone's baggage before they are allowed onto the boat, and also need to check the person's ID to ensure he or she is of legal drinking age because the boat sells alcohol. I forgot to bring my ID, so I told them I never bring it, so they told me to wait at the side until they have finished checking everyone first. Then after that they said I can go onto the boat but need to check my bag. THEN I REALISED ITS THE SAME BAG I CARRIED FOR SATURDAY NIGHT COOKING. So they found this weird wrapped up package and when they uncovered it, a longer-than-six-inch ceramic knife revealed itself. The security people were like 'HOLY SHIT. THAT'S SOME LETHAL SHIT MAN.' while I'm all ._______________________. 'shit'. At first they allowed me to go onto the boat but have to confiscate my knife (as well as my cutleries). Afterwards they brought me out and told me I'm not allowed onto the ship anymore cus the captain is dam pissed off lol. And they can't return me all the stuff they confiscated (probably cus if I go onto a rampage after that and started killing people they would be partially responsible). So I kind of lost my possessions and was barred from the event. In the end worked out the best of the situation and took photos along the river instead.
Tried out the panorama function on my phone and it turned out quite well I guess. The river thames reminds me of clarke quay actually. It's like basically clarke quay lor. Or more like clarke quay is modeled after river thames.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
Continuing in London
Yoooooo I realised it's being a while since I last posted (actually are there still people who read my blog?), and now I shall talk more about daily school life instead of sad stuff, not that it's not sad but still.
Even after uh 3 weeks into my school the lectures are still boring, boring in the I-knew-this-thousand-of-years-ago sense. Biochemistry is basically A level chemistry + molecular biology as of now. Sometimes they will throw in new things like MO theory hoping you won't know what it is, except that period of ChemO lessons were not completely forgotten.
As of now I've skipped 4 lectures yayyy (like a delinquent), as well as attended two lectures which made me regret attending. I would always sit at the first few rows of the lecture playing with my phone (now that my phone plan was changed so it became staring into empty space), but recently I started copying stuff for DNA replication already.
Hmm other than that I'm trying to apply for part time tutoring kind of jobs so that I can earn some allowance, and with that extra allowance I might finally decide to travel outside of walkable range. But before that life is still the same, saving as much money as I can, so I don't spend money on anything outside food, and I reduce that to as low as possible also.
Have a few outings with people I know here, like all the girl outings with esther and mag, and tesco/waitrose outings with benji. But apart from that I spent most of my time at my dorm doing practically nothing. Ahhh should start self-studying but I always get sleepy in the afternoons.
I've attended two lab sessions as of now, one session where my hands got owned by acid fumes. Like they let us use concentrated sulfuric acid during the first lab session then I never wear gloves and when I was heating the acid solution the fumes got onto my hands. Now fingers dam itchy haiiiz. The second lab is on gel electrophoresis, which is just as boring :3
Even after uh 3 weeks into my school the lectures are still boring, boring in the I-knew-this-thousand-of-years-ago sense. Biochemistry is basically A level chemistry + molecular biology as of now. Sometimes they will throw in new things like MO theory hoping you won't know what it is, except that period of ChemO lessons were not completely forgotten.
As of now I've skipped 4 lectures yayyy (like a delinquent), as well as attended two lectures which made me regret attending. I would always sit at the first few rows of the lecture playing with my phone (now that my phone plan was changed so it became staring into empty space), but recently I started copying stuff for DNA replication already.
Hmm other than that I'm trying to apply for part time tutoring kind of jobs so that I can earn some allowance, and with that extra allowance I might finally decide to travel outside of walkable range. But before that life is still the same, saving as much money as I can, so I don't spend money on anything outside food, and I reduce that to as low as possible also.
Have a few outings with people I know here, like all the girl outings with esther and mag, and tesco/waitrose outings with benji. But apart from that I spent most of my time at my dorm doing practically nothing. Ahhh should start self-studying but I always get sleepy in the afternoons.
I've attended two lab sessions as of now, one session where my hands got owned by acid fumes. Like they let us use concentrated sulfuric acid during the first lab session then I never wear gloves and when I was heating the acid solution the fumes got onto my hands. Now fingers dam itchy haiiiz. The second lab is on gel electrophoresis, which is just as boring :3
Sunday, October 13, 2013
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
Actual lessons
I have already started on actual lessons, but they are currently dam lame. Mostly cus I already learnt all those stuff already so while everyone is taking notes (seriously? take notes of what) during lectures I'm just being bored and staring at my phone.
Once again I skipped two different lectures today, mainly because I don't feel like waking up at 8 am. Then again the stuff they teach I probably knew all already. Shall go to their videos to see whether they started talking about spectroscopy. While the other lecture is still stuck at pH and pKa -.-
Once again I skipped two different lectures today, mainly because I don't feel like waking up at 8 am. Then again the stuff they teach I probably knew all already. Shall go to their videos to see whether they started talking about spectroscopy. While the other lecture is still stuck at pH and pKa -.-
Sunday, October 6, 2013
I hate it when people start running on inferiority complex. Like seriously so what if you're noober or you're actually noob. Just live life in the way you like it and follow what you desire. What is the point of comparing and thinking you're noober than someone else you are not even going to live his / her life for him / her.
Saturday, October 5, 2013
Thursday, October 3, 2013
London life
Essentially my current London life is like no life.
I MISS ALL THE FOOD. IT'S LIKE ANY FOOD IN SINGAPORE IS BETTER THAN LONDON FOOD PLS. Then again that is hall food for you -.-
I'm running on a budget of 10 pounds per day. Since breakfast and dinner are catered I only need to worry about lunch. With 10 pounds you can barely spend on anything. Actually you can lah, but after that you can't buy anything else. Like in Singapore maybe after lunch you would buy a drink, or dessert, or snacks. But no. In London after lunch I would barely have any money on anything.
When your life is restricted by a 10 pound budget you can barely do anything. Travel around more? Bullshit. The shortest possible single trip via the trains cost 4 pounds. Let's assume you are super money-saving and spend 4 pounds on lunch. Then in that day you would have spent 12 pounds just travelling and eating lunch. What sightseeing, what going around? If you're not rich everything about London life is merely a beautiful illusion.
I MISS ALL THE FOOD. IT'S LIKE ANY FOOD IN SINGAPORE IS BETTER THAN LONDON FOOD PLS. Then again that is hall food for you -.-
I'm running on a budget of 10 pounds per day. Since breakfast and dinner are catered I only need to worry about lunch. With 10 pounds you can barely spend on anything. Actually you can lah, but after that you can't buy anything else. Like in Singapore maybe after lunch you would buy a drink, or dessert, or snacks. But no. In London after lunch I would barely have any money on anything.
When your life is restricted by a 10 pound budget you can barely do anything. Travel around more? Bullshit. The shortest possible single trip via the trains cost 4 pounds. Let's assume you are super money-saving and spend 4 pounds on lunch. Then in that day you would have spent 12 pounds just travelling and eating lunch. What sightseeing, what going around? If you're not rich everything about London life is merely a beautiful illusion.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Joe Hisaishi
Despite having only watched most of Hayao Miyazaki's films when I'm primary to lower secondary school, (actually that's still considered as childhood right) I feel the music by Joe Hisaishi is still the most representative of the sweetness and innocence of childhood.
Sometimes you just want to sit there listening to the music and forget about every problem in the world.
Sometimes you just want to sit there listening to the music and forget about every problem in the world.
Monday, September 23, 2013
Socialising
That, is basically what everyone is doing at the moment in London. Everyone except me of course.
Though I wanted to say the first week was ok, but I have to be honest with myself, hence the first week sucks. I suppose the sucky part was all the adaptations I need to make in order to survive in this environment, and I did quite poorly. Underwent a major nosebleeding one day ago, and every major trip to the toilet is just blood. I'm quite surprised I never get anemia from all the bleeding yet hoho.
And then I fell sick yesterday. Fever and headache and this feeling of wanting to throw up even when I already skipped dinner to sleep. Got better after my medicine, though my back hurts from all the lying down now. Have to drink more water from now on, otherwise I would just die -.-
And then comes this socialising problem. If you think I would have no problem with socialising, then you're wrong. So so wrong. Have made zero friends as of now. Every breakfast / lunch / dinner group that I joined would only involve me being completely silent. I'm not trying to socialise at all, because suddenly the idea of socialising becomes so disgusting to me. Especially when I know there won't be much of a common topic between me and anyone that I meet here. All the Singaporean guys are at least 2 years older than me, and 2 years really do make a generation gap. (like srsly even guys my age has this 'NS' thing as a new untouchable topic for me 2 years is a huge difference) And also because every guy is just bent on socialising, going to pubs/clubs, getting drunk and having fun, which are the things I dislike. Even within my OG I am mildly to greatly ignored, because once again everyone's bent on having fun. I am just this one weird person that is isolated from all the rest 'normal' socialising party having fun people, of course I can't make friends.
I feel that under this situation, I would reach a point where I don't care about making new friends anymore, because they mean nothing to me. I would just build a shell around myself and go for those still in Singapore.
I miss you all. But I still have to pretend I'm fine.
Though I wanted to say the first week was ok, but I have to be honest with myself, hence the first week sucks. I suppose the sucky part was all the adaptations I need to make in order to survive in this environment, and I did quite poorly. Underwent a major nosebleeding one day ago, and every major trip to the toilet is just blood. I'm quite surprised I never get anemia from all the bleeding yet hoho.
And then I fell sick yesterday. Fever and headache and this feeling of wanting to throw up even when I already skipped dinner to sleep. Got better after my medicine, though my back hurts from all the lying down now. Have to drink more water from now on, otherwise I would just die -.-
And then comes this socialising problem. If you think I would have no problem with socialising, then you're wrong. So so wrong. Have made zero friends as of now. Every breakfast / lunch / dinner group that I joined would only involve me being completely silent. I'm not trying to socialise at all, because suddenly the idea of socialising becomes so disgusting to me. Especially when I know there won't be much of a common topic between me and anyone that I meet here. All the Singaporean guys are at least 2 years older than me, and 2 years really do make a generation gap. (like srsly even guys my age has this 'NS' thing as a new untouchable topic for me 2 years is a huge difference) And also because every guy is just bent on socialising, going to pubs/clubs, getting drunk and having fun, which are the things I dislike. Even within my OG I am mildly to greatly ignored, because once again everyone's bent on having fun. I am just this one weird person that is isolated from all the rest 'normal' socialising party having fun people, of course I can't make friends.
I feel that under this situation, I would reach a point where I don't care about making new friends anymore, because they mean nothing to me. I would just build a shell around myself and go for those still in Singapore.
I miss you all. But I still have to pretend I'm fine.
Thursday, September 12, 2013
I believe everything a person does reflect a part of his personality.
For example the colours he likes.
For example the songs he listens to.
For example the songs he can sing well.
For example the things he daydreams about.
For example the way he describes things.
When you have an idea of these small details, you can make a pretty accurate prediction of the person's personality.
For example the colours he likes.
For example the songs he listens to.
For example the songs he can sing well.
For example the things he daydreams about.
For example the way he describes things.
When you have an idea of these small details, you can make a pretty accurate prediction of the person's personality.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Leaving
By today my leaving countdown has reached single digit. Yesterday sent esther off, which was not that bad because I would technically be seeing her off in one and a half week. With 8 days left things are starting to sink in as to how long I would be away from all these people in Singapore and fly off to a foreign land to sort of start anew.
Many of my friends are starting to have new commitments, while I'm just here wondering whether I should start packing my luggage. The thing that worries me is that I never seem to know what those commitments are, and slowly the commitments would become a part of my friends' everyday lives. It scares me that I would just drift away from them and yet things would seem natural. One friend who already flew to the US for uni told me that she worried about these things also, until uni life starts to set in and she doesn't even have time to worry about all these anymore. And then you would have to force yourself to choose among your friends, who you would communicate with more, who you would have to talk to less because there's just not enough time. And what worries me the most is when both sides feel that it is inevitable for friendships to be lost, and then it would really become inevitable.
On the day of my departure, I imagined myself walking calmly past the security and glancing one last time back, before moving to the passport check. And then I would break down and cry.
Except no, I can't cry.
Many of my friends are starting to have new commitments, while I'm just here wondering whether I should start packing my luggage. The thing that worries me is that I never seem to know what those commitments are, and slowly the commitments would become a part of my friends' everyday lives. It scares me that I would just drift away from them and yet things would seem natural. One friend who already flew to the US for uni told me that she worried about these things also, until uni life starts to set in and she doesn't even have time to worry about all these anymore. And then you would have to force yourself to choose among your friends, who you would communicate with more, who you would have to talk to less because there's just not enough time. And what worries me the most is when both sides feel that it is inevitable for friendships to be lost, and then it would really become inevitable.
On the day of my departure, I imagined myself walking calmly past the security and glancing one last time back, before moving to the passport check. And then I would break down and cry.
Except no, I can't cry.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
UCL Camp
Was away for UCL fresher's camp for 2 days. Had a lot of games and team bonding events throughout, and met with many new people. (Actually all are new because I don't know any of them)
But I feel like I'm lacking motivation to talk more about it.
Esther would be flying off soon. She's already doing her countdown which is going to approach single digits soon.
And with this I feel like my remaining time in Singapore is slowly leaking away as well. Everyone having their events and new commitments and busy studying schedules, it becomes quite hard to go out with people.
The UCL seniors talked about how hard it was to maintain connection with friends in Singapore while in London, that to them it feels as though they lived in different worlds after a while, and that you would definitely not be as close to your friends in Singapore as expected. All this talk makes me feel increasingly depressed about flying off.
I remember I asked you whether you would forget about me when I'm overseas, and you said you don't know. Well I suppose at least you gave me an honest answer. But your answer does make me more determined to maintain connections while overseas, which I believe I would carry out. So I said if one day you forgot about me, I would make you remember.
But I feel like I'm lacking motivation to talk more about it.
Esther would be flying off soon. She's already doing her countdown which is going to approach single digits soon.
And with this I feel like my remaining time in Singapore is slowly leaking away as well. Everyone having their events and new commitments and busy studying schedules, it becomes quite hard to go out with people.
The UCL seniors talked about how hard it was to maintain connection with friends in Singapore while in London, that to them it feels as though they lived in different worlds after a while, and that you would definitely not be as close to your friends in Singapore as expected. All this talk makes me feel increasingly depressed about flying off.
I remember I asked you whether you would forget about me when I'm overseas, and you said you don't know. Well I suppose at least you gave me an honest answer. But your answer does make me more determined to maintain connections while overseas, which I believe I would carry out. So I said if one day you forgot about me, I would make you remember.
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Would be flying off to London in a few weeks. Now I'm just doing what I usually do during a school-less day, trying to maximise my time and yet get to slack.
Local unis have started school already, so it's getting harder to meet up with people now that they have more commitments to take care of. Especially year 1 where you get to run for various positions without interfering much with your studies. So good luck to domi and huimin for your respective election/interview :)
Visa application later. If they rejected me again I would just, uh, kill things.
Local unis have started school already, so it's getting harder to meet up with people now that they have more commitments to take care of. Especially year 1 where you get to run for various positions without interfering much with your studies. So good luck to domi and huimin for your respective election/interview :)
Visa application later. If they rejected me again I would just, uh, kill things.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
changing
Actually I also dunno why I'm staying up so late now, at first had wanted to watch dota competition live but then I dun think they would be interesting as the finals later so I decided not to. So instead I went to read the facebook notes I posted last time, and I realised there is indeed a change in my personality as years go by.
Just by reading the way I express myself I can see the different tones in the writings.
This was written in 2009:
'anyways...JY FOR MUGGING + EOY. shall spend the rest of my time doing english AND doing chem ace for another friend...im so kind'Felt like the me during that time was one with a strong desire for ego boosts, very expressive online about what he likes and dislikes, and there's this obnoxious aura of pride in him.
This was written in 2011:
'My result is stupid -.-. Yes indeed someone who licks a stuffed animal under his bed needs some serious help. seriously.
Just by reading the way I express myself I can see the different tones in the writings.
This was written in 2009:
'anyways...JY FOR MUGGING + EOY. shall spend the rest of my time doing english AND doing chem ace for another friend...im so kind'Felt like the me during that time was one with a strong desire for ego boosts, very expressive online about what he likes and dislikes, and there's this obnoxious aura of pride in him.
This was written in 2011:
'My result is stupid -.-. Yes indeed someone who licks a stuffed animal under his bed needs some serious help. seriously.
btw jingyi: sry I only lick stuffed animals, not ppl. so no scandal this time :)'
I would say this sounded more like the me nowadays as compared to before, but then again I can still read a subtle note of lameness, which then again originated from a desire for ego boost.
This was written in 2012:
'By today most of the photos would have been uploaded onto facebook, with 110% unglamness and random video(s) that scar people for life lololol. Anyways, I guess as all things come to an end, it's time for a bit of thanksgiving as well. Reflection part can be stalked on my blog so I shall leave out those.'
Hmm.. not much change from 2011, that was probably the period when I stagnated in terms of personal improvement. Ah it sucks.
I feel that I'm constantly displeased with my current self in terms of personality, expressions, actions, way of thinking. And the biggest problem other than my unwillingness to change is that I don't know what I don't know. (that's seriously a problem because I won't know that I have a certain weakness until it got revealed through some incident, and even then I might not realise it)
Well let's just talk about a recent incident that happened to me that made me realise one problem I have, or had. I realised sometimes when a sudden event happened to me, I cannot treat it logically and always do things according to how my emotions dictate me.
So I applied for accommodations for my university, and I expected the weekly rent to be 129.5 pounds, but the offer that came to me was around 144 pounds. And because that day my com's wireless connection is screwing up (for the first time with no apparent reason whatsoever), I was very pissed off with everything. Then after telling my parents about the higher than expected rent, I made a wrong intuitive deduction that they were unhappy with that rent and so I brainlessly rejected the offer (when in fact I was given 1 week to decide) immediately. And so I was immediately shown a page that stated the uni might not offer me another accommodation after my rejection and so I started to panic. In the end still managed to get back the original offer lah, just that it costs more than planned.
My mind sort of brushed over that incident. I was surprised at myself for being SO emotional over that incident and acting so brainlessly, but I didn't look deep into the problem and forgot about its significance a few days later.
And then just a few days ago another incident popped up that really made me think about this problem. I was supposed to be having an outing with a friend of mine at school. I woke up late, went out later, and once again was in a panic while on the bus. I smsed him about how late I would be and underestimated my timing, and then when he told me I was even later I started to panic even more, until I made wrong intuitive deductions again about where we would meet. (He was in school but I thought we would meet elsewhere) And off course he's pissed off with this whole thing. Though what struck me was what he said, 'I'm not angry because you're late, though of course I'm also angry about that. But I'm angry because you are still the same fanyi I know before, letting your emotions get the better of you, not knowing the best course of actions.' Yeah that really struck me, because it's one of those 'I don't know what I don't know' problems. I was aware that I would be completely calm and logical when faced with another person's problem, so I naturally assumed I would behave the same way when I faced something on my own. But it seemed that I was not good at controlling my emotions and to ensure they didn't interfere with my thinking, after these incidents. And I knew what was my excuse for it: it's about interacting with people close to me, I don't want to screw things up. That made me AFRAID to do the 'most logical thing' because I'm unsure as to whether that is what they wanted. Though after this incident I'm more confident in dealing with sudden situations and not to be emotionally affected by them.
That's just one of the several weaknesses I realised about myself (with a lot of help from others), and perhaps one of the many different areas I'm working on. Because throughout this time, I always felt that I did not get what I wanted due to all these weaknesses of mine.
Anyways gotta sleep now, it would be an exciting day later hmm hmm. nitess
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Sherlock
This is essentially what Sherlock is about:
http://ihaveanarmarda.tumblr.com/post/51317344677/no-no-sexual-tension-at-all
http://ihaveanarmarda.tumblr.com/post/51317344677/no-no-sexual-tension-at-all
Friday, August 2, 2013
Support
I feel a greater and greater need for an emotional support nowadays. It's as though everyone is getting tired of me, and then I get more and more easily, stressed-up?
After my Visa application got rejected for the second time I felt this panic that lasted for more than an hour. Not good at all, why do I care so much about this Visa that I have to panic for so long? Everything that I didn't care about would only result in a 5 minute panic. Maybe I'm starting to care about more things, or maybe just my defences are weakening.
All the while there is this poking feeling that whenever I go out I would bleed my wallet dry. And my mom is not helping at all by saying stupid stuff about comparing my friends based on how much material life they provided me and why I have to spend so much on birthday gifts. (Why is it always about birthday gifts -.-)
After my Visa application got rejected for the second time I felt this panic that lasted for more than an hour. Not good at all, why do I care so much about this Visa that I have to panic for so long? Everything that I didn't care about would only result in a 5 minute panic. Maybe I'm starting to care about more things, or maybe just my defences are weakening.
All the while there is this poking feeling that whenever I go out I would bleed my wallet dry. And my mom is not helping at all by saying stupid stuff about comparing my friends based on how much material life they provided me and why I have to spend so much on birthday gifts. (Why is it always about birthday gifts -.-)
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
I suddenly decide that facebook is too lousy a platform to share things without creating impressions of the person who shared it, so I shall use my blog to share stuff hehe
http://spuddings.net/2013/07/31/the-national-family-pledge-bigotry-dressed-up-as-national-values/
.
On a side note, my cousins have came to Singapore for around 1 week already. They would be staying with me for another week before they fly back. So these few days just bringing them around Singapore and stuff.
http://spuddings.net/2013/07/31/the-national-family-pledge-bigotry-dressed-up-as-national-values/
.
On a side note, my cousins have came to Singapore for around 1 week already. They would be staying with me for another week before they fly back. So these few days just bringing them around Singapore and stuff.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Heat
OMG OMG OMG THESE FEW DAYS ARE SO HOT IM GOING TO DIE. And my mom dropped a bottle of perfume on the floor now the whole place smells like perfume god this is so stuffy T.T
Ok tmr I'm going to a place with 100% aircon
Ok tmr I'm going to a place with 100% aircon
Friday, July 19, 2013
Why is it bad to not have a PR
I came to Singapore since primary one and have been studying here since. However, as of today I have yet applied to be a PR or Singaporean, due to a certain 2 year-wasting event called NS. (Many others may say that NS is/was/will be meaningful in a lot of ways, good for them~)
The thing is it is never financially 'good' to remain as a foreigner throughout these years because being a foreigner comes at a heavy price, and that price is growing heavier as years go by.
The most significant part would be the ridiculous sum of school fees I have to pay throughout. During primary school, when others were paying school fees in tens, I was already paying in hundreds. That hundreds grew to around 600 when it comes to secondary school, and then it turned to 1000 in JC (apparently that 1000 continued to grow afterwards).
And now that I'm going overseas to study, it would have easily turned to 40000 per year. All this while, scholarships and funds are not made available to me, since I'm a foreigner. Which is why I was barely responsive to all the scholarship talks in JC. 'Must be PR or Singaporean? Moving on~' (that applied to everything actually, so I was moving on with everything)
Not to forget there are other 'small stuff' in daily lives that poke holes in my wallet because I'm a foreigner. The other day I went to the National Museum, and essentially because I'm a foreigner, I need to pay $10 for a ticket to ONE of the exhibitions. (I can almost feel my wallet bleeding) Of course there are other stuff like I cannot apply for a legit job because I'm a foreigner under a dependent pass, which is why I can only give private tuition. My cousins from China are arriving this week and we are going to many of the tourist spots across the island, I wonder how much does tourist tickets cost.
Oh today I went for my visa application. Got rejected because I'm a Chinese foreigner (not considered as a 'low risk' country by the UK) applying from a foreign country so I need to provide a lot of rubbish evidences but I never bring them. Aiya it's just very 麻烦 to do >.<
The thing is it is never financially 'good' to remain as a foreigner throughout these years because being a foreigner comes at a heavy price, and that price is growing heavier as years go by.
The most significant part would be the ridiculous sum of school fees I have to pay throughout. During primary school, when others were paying school fees in tens, I was already paying in hundreds. That hundreds grew to around 600 when it comes to secondary school, and then it turned to 1000 in JC (apparently that 1000 continued to grow afterwards).
And now that I'm going overseas to study, it would have easily turned to 40000 per year. All this while, scholarships and funds are not made available to me, since I'm a foreigner. Which is why I was barely responsive to all the scholarship talks in JC. 'Must be PR or Singaporean? Moving on~' (that applied to everything actually, so I was moving on with everything)
Not to forget there are other 'small stuff' in daily lives that poke holes in my wallet because I'm a foreigner. The other day I went to the National Museum, and essentially because I'm a foreigner, I need to pay $10 for a ticket to ONE of the exhibitions. (I can almost feel my wallet bleeding) Of course there are other stuff like I cannot apply for a legit job because I'm a foreigner under a dependent pass, which is why I can only give private tuition. My cousins from China are arriving this week and we are going to many of the tourist spots across the island, I wonder how much does tourist tickets cost.
Oh today I went for my visa application. Got rejected because I'm a Chinese foreigner (not considered as a 'low risk' country by the UK) applying from a foreign country so I need to provide a lot of rubbish evidences but I never bring them. Aiya it's just very 麻烦 to do >.<
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Appreciation
I'm leaving UK soon, so going to appreciate the time I have remaining. Despite all the promises about coming back whenever I can, I know that even by doing that friendships would be different compared to before.
On a side note, Free! - Iwatobi Swim Club is like male objectification to its peak.
On a side note, Free! - Iwatobi Swim Club is like male objectification to its peak.
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Impact
There's one and only one manga that made me cry, and it has that one sentence.
I fell in love.
I fell in love.
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Lab
Seeing that I'm going to go overseas for university soon, I started to clear my room today, so that we might rent my room out to someone else to earn a bit more money.
And of course the first thing that has to go is my min-lab. Packing all the tubes and bottles and throwing the useless ones into plastic bags brought back so much memories. It felt as though I'm back in secondary school doing experiment again. After all, my lab is one of the major influence to my interest in chemistry. Even though the experiments are very simple, they still mean a lot to me. I remembered how I liked to do experiments that have a lot of colourful reactions. And slowly all these would go away. (I did feel a sense of amusement while pouring down my CuCl2 and FeCl3 down the drain. Somewhere in Singapore there's going to be a sudden spike of copper and iron level in the waste water hurhur)
And I was also very into crystallisation, because you know, crystals are sparkly. I'm probably a magpie incarnate or something.
And of course the first thing that has to go is my min-lab. Packing all the tubes and bottles and throwing the useless ones into plastic bags brought back so much memories. It felt as though I'm back in secondary school doing experiment again. After all, my lab is one of the major influence to my interest in chemistry. Even though the experiments are very simple, they still mean a lot to me. I remembered how I liked to do experiments that have a lot of colourful reactions. And slowly all these would go away. (I did feel a sense of amusement while pouring down my CuCl2 and FeCl3 down the drain. Somewhere in Singapore there's going to be a sudden spike of copper and iron level in the waste water hurhur)
And I was also very into crystallisation, because you know, crystals are sparkly. I'm probably a magpie incarnate or something.
This is probably tetraamine copper (II) chloride
Iron (III) chloride and something..
My lab being packed.
Copper (II) hydroxide
Crystals of copper (II) chloride, with dead flies. I placed them near my window to test for humidity. And when it is aqueous flying insects seemed to be attracted to the green liquid and die inside..
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
chalet
I realised I've never really been to a class chalet before. Every time when there was one, I would miss it due to various reasons.
In sec 2 it was due to going back to China.
In sec 4 it was due to ISYF.
I dun rmbr there was one in JC, or maybe I have already forgotten about it.
In sec 2 it was due to going back to China.
In sec 4 it was due to ISYF.
I dun rmbr there was one in JC, or maybe I have already forgotten about it.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Thursday, June 27, 2013
I remembered when I read Lord of the Flies in Sec 2, there was this section near the ending climax of the story about Roger 'sharpened a stick at both ends'. While the supposed meaning of that was that Roger was full of intention of killing Ralph and presenting it to their imaginative tribal god, at that time I always thought Roger had wanted to betray Jack after the kill, and that the stick sharpened at both ends is a symbol of double-crossing. Because you can attack both the people in front (enemies) and behind (allies) you.
Hmm
Hmm
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Prague part 2 ~fin~
The last day in Prague. We started off in the morning and by 4 pm were going to the airport to fly back to Singapore, so due to time management did not visit more places.
Started off by visiting the royal garden. Feels as if there's royal gardens everywhere you go.
After that entered the main area where all the palaces are located.
We then visited this street like area, which is supposedly the place where people of lower titles lived in the past, such as smiths, herbalists and weavers. It was also Franz Kafka's temporary home for a period of time. (I see him as being masochistically mental)
And then we had a mad rush to the airport to take a flight to Helsinki first, then back to Singapore. Due to the fact that it is summer period in Europe, the days are long and nights are short. For example this photo depicts Helsinki at 10.30 pm. Seriously the sun did not even set yet.
And that marks the end of my trip to Europe, (or mainly Austria and Czech republic). I would say it is a very fresh experience for me, as well as an eye-opener, due to the difference in culture and architecture there. And because many of these places have small populations, the entire area gives a very serene feel. Would love to go there again with my friends.
Prague part 1
Prague is the last part of my Europe journey. It is a more populated place than all the other places I've been to during this trip, as can be seen from the presence of KFC in Prague. Because during the entire time I've never seen a single KFC in any of those towns / cities.
Mainly took a walk around to visit all the usual places of history. Here's a spammage of the various shots.
Mainly took a walk around to visit all the usual places of history. Here's a spammage of the various shots.
And of course since there's a church we went to the church. Here's the link of my walk inside the church http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZWD8613sQk&feature=youtu.be
The above two photos are part of this structure called the Astronomical Clock, where both time and year is being shown, together with the 12 horoscopes. I suspect when people calculate horoscopic positions they use this as a guideline. Apparently during every full hour there will be some form of 'performance' where figures installed in the clock would come out, and every 12 noon there will be a full performance involving the 12 disciples of Jesus and other stuff.
After that we went to the river side onto the famous bridge. Though it's getting dark so the photos are not as nice.
Dinner was at this restaurant-cum-bar that serves its signature roasted pig knee, which is a gigantic chunk of leg that definitely can't be finished by 4 people despite what's written on the menu.
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
Czech republic part 2
Arrived at a different town in the Czech republic. We stayed at a family-hotel that belonged to an elderly couple. The landlady doesn't know how to speak English so most of our communications involved gestures and google translate.
This part of the journey was really chill, cus there's no place of interest that is a must-see in this town, so the entire day was spent slowly walking around the streets and looking at the different shops, trying to buy cheap stuff.
This part of the journey was really chill, cus there's no place of interest that is a must-see in this town, so the entire day was spent slowly walking around the streets and looking at the different shops, trying to buy cheap stuff.
Photos of the scenery there. It feels like the place is less crowded than other places we visited. People seemed to like rowing boats on the river early in the morning, saw numerous groups of people rowing.
The Czech republic is quite famous for their nature body products. This is a shop that sells all the different types of oils and shampoos and scented soaps and bath salts. What's shown here is not large slices of cheese, but large slices of scented soap. Some types of soap even have dried flowers and stuff mixed in the solid, and they smell very nice.
Blatant fanservice for my potential readers who like cute things. This is a dog btw.
Gift shop.
This is part of a cafe. What's interesting is that other than the main place where people sit and drink/eat, there's this room that is meant for artists to draw inspirations and stuff. That's why it's so cute and comfy.
A shop selling all the different coloured scarves.
My favourite food eaten in that town is the fried cheese. This is probably brie.
For some strange reason near the entrance of the castle there's a sunken area where this bear is being kept.
Different minerals for various horoscopes.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Return
Tomorrow is going to be the last day of my Europe trip, so I shall just do the blog posts after I reach Singapore. My dad would be using my com from 29 May to 4 June so I won't be using whatsapp during that period, but hopefully I can still blog and use internet.
See you all soon.
See you all soon.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Czech republic part 1
Took a 2.5 hr car ride to the Czech republic and reached at around 10 pm ++. Before that we spent the last day in Salzburg mainly visiting the rest of the attractions around.
Shots of buildings near the centre of the city.
There's a marketplace selling mainly food and flowers, a bit like the one in Singapore.
The inside of a church. This one is much grander than many others we have seen. The ceilings are filled with murals and there are many sculptures around.
Food.
The famous Hohensalzburg Castle, which is the place where each reign of bishop or archbishop live. The road up the castle is horribly slanted, and the castle is located high up on the hill, which shows how slack the bishop/archbishop were, living in isolation and all.
Taken from the top of the castle.
Food.
After that we came upon this fair of sorts, where people set up many stalls for others to play and stuff. There were face-painting and knitting and paintball-painting. I think it probably happens once a week on Saturdays, so that people in the city can relax.
Arrived very late at the Czech republic after 2.5 hr of car ride (you can call it a taxi), currently staying at a family-hotel of sorts, where the landlady owns the house but rents some rooms for tourists. Too dark to see anything now, so shall be exploring more tomorrow.
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