summation

After this week I would do a facebook status.
'Like this status and I will tell you:
1. How we met.
2. What's my first impression of you.
3. What's my current impression of you.
4. One thing I like about you.
5. One thing I dislike about you.
6. Most memorable time with you.
7. Any other things I would like to say to you.'
That would be the summation of my JC1 life: friendship.
I would say I spent most of my time this year making new friends, making old friends (yes old friends), strengthening existing relationships. Explains my grades and stuff such as coming chem o. mmm mug bah.

boundary between logic and emotion

I would say I tend towards the emotional side instead of the logical side most of the time. Hence it's strange how I ended up in a science class. (Writing this and thinking that it seems possible to prove that emotions are logical, but NVM shall dao that)
Hmm maybe that's why I'm so easygoing with life, easygoing with situations, easygoing with work. If I find no emotional need to do something I would probably treat it lightly. (Since logic no longer applies to how I work, stuff like personal benefit seems to be off flying in lala land.) That makes me 'noob' in a lot of senses, and incapable in a lot of ways. But other than that it makes me unpredictable? (debatable point again)
Also, that would mean I most likely was not thinking about any form of benefit when helping others. Not in the form of respect, reciprocity, fame that is. Which means if I'm helping you, it would either mean that I see you as just another person who is going to feed on my easygoing-ness (and hence dao that fact and continue let you feeding off me), or that I'm seeing you as a good friend and enjoy helping you. Good thing is most of the time people can't differentiate the two just by working with me, but my other actions should be able to show how I treat you already.
And that's probably why I suck at coming up with solutions, which is one of the most important skills in surviving in this world. Theories about life don't interest me to the extend that I would apply them, although it's interesting to listen to other people's view on how to live through life. Whether or not I would change my view towards life would depend on whether I feel like it lol.
Emoing without solution is ng.
.
Scaring people with random video on facebook just before they sleep. Oh no everyone actually thought I'm actually posting a touching video?! Ooops.

stress

fk this 6.5 hours of sleep in 2 days is killing me. -.-
and I still have more pw tonight. screw la tmr chemo shall go rubbish around, as long as I dun fall asleep while doing prac or do something stupid like spilling organic wastes everywhere can already.
And still need to find time to meet centad mentors :(
This week is horrible.
.
On a side note, I don't want you to escape and move to somewhere else.

isyf camp

What happened is expected, bond ISYF facilitators, give them a view of boarding school life (and its horrible food), discuss and plan for ISYF as a whole.
Nothing of exceptional interest happened, except that midnight to near dawn period of epicness in rayray and johnny's room. Let's say that everyone was joking around.
And I was super powerful cus I highed my way through the whole camp period, stayed all the way till 5.15 am to wake rayray up, then quickly go and sleep for 1.5 hours, attend morning discussion, go home, chiong finish pw video, sleep for another 2 hours, chiong for cca outing, slack slack slack slack, come back and continue editing pw.
Oh met domi's whole family at east coast park today. surprise!
If one thing some ppl could see from my behaviour during the camp is that I fulfill promises. Zomg from 4.30 am onward coca cola lost its ability to keep me awake and hence I have to resort to xmmbtg. Then in the end rayray woke up and slept again -.-

sadface

Based on the results that are already released on ISP. (For those who wish to remain in temporal bliss pretend that you did not see this.)
Shows that I've being rubbishing around for the entire year. And from how my dad's response of 'I don't want to talk to you about this for the next 2 days' I suppose he's very unhappy with my score (and how I treated the exams this year)
Another thing is about PW. It's like everyday I'm just so tired, and others can see that a certain class seems to be late for lessons more frequently (miss maths tutorial by 30 min, miss maths lecture by 20 min). PW makes everyone so tense.
Well I've already know that throughout the year I was not hardworking enough, so this kind of score was pretty expected. (Like if I can actually do well after slacking off so much I would lol already.)
This makes me think about chemo, which is quite soon.
As I did the scho questions, I realised I've been circling almost all the questions on organic chem, and then physical chem is basically gg. Basically anything that is not inorg chem is gg, unless I was lucky and guessed the correct answer.

Being a fanyi version 2.00

The first time I defined what is being a Fanyi was last year. This year the definitions are going to have a bit of changes! Like I want to have positive attributes inside other than joke attributes leh.
I shall decide on 35 definitions of a Fanyi first, then maybe it slowly expands later. Compiled from other people's responses.
1. He believes that the chinese for benzene is 笨.
2. He is a bitch. (ie. fluorine)
3. He is frequently CuI. ie. he tends to fail in doing a lot of things, or screws up, or becomes careless.
4. He mugs the periodic table.
5. He mugs the pokedex more than the periodic table.
6. He is probably a lolicon.
7. He is a bad influence.
8. He flirts with chinese teachers.
9. He flirts with girls. <---- o.o!
10. He has a girl's scream (sometimes worse)
11. He wears a black / white / blue jacket / sweater. The white one is his lab coat, the black one is his nitride coating, the blue one is the snuggly one :D
12. He is a masochist.
13. He plays a certain fighting game commonly known as XMMBTG.
14. He does body waves! (like a worm)
15. He has high tendency to destroy things.
16. He gays with people.
17. He likes hugging.
18. He is openly secretive.
19. He is very spas when with a group of people but quite different when talking to people 1 on 1.
20. He doesn't care much about his studies (ok maybe he does but not that much), but is very conscious about his friendship.
21. Hence he tends to get insecure easily.
22. He treats his friendship very seriously.
23.

I should leave it at here until I get more info o.o

Took 156 home today.
Fall asleep and woke up at where I should alight.
I quickly rushed from the back to get off the bus, and for a moment I was face to face with someone wearing the same uniform. I have the feeling that I've met the person before, but the face is not familiar to me.
Feels as though I missed someone important.

joy of stoning

Other than talking to people on msn about stuff, stoning seems to be a good way of companionship when there's no other ways of companionship at the moment.
Hence, I enjoy sitting beside you, and you, and you, and you. Let me think did I leave out anyone else. Yeah should be it.

promise?

Maybe I should attempt the impossible, and take that gigantic risk to ask for a truthful opinion.
It's risky because we are not that close. It's risky because it involves more than just me and the person, but others whom I'm concerned about.
But I feel like taking the risk because it produces results, whether good or bad. Maybe result is better than nothing.
The talk about relationships today was rather interesting, makes me think of whether there can be the 'best friend' relationship between a guy and a girl. I still believe in that kind of 'best friend' relationship, except that it is not happening to me at the moment so it's just hypothetical..

Forbidden Love

Just watched The Sorcerer and the White Snake. It's based off a chinese legend 白蛇传, which is about a thousand year old white snake that fall in love with a human, and how she was captured and sealed off by a monk because love between a youkai and a human is forbidden.
This plot is somewhat similar to the disney film Little Mermaid, except that it's happy ending for Little Mermaid's case. Once again it touches upon the topic of the supposed 'forbidden' love.
Makes me wonder why is there still forbidden love in the societies of today. For example, love between siblings, love between the same gender.
The most logical explanation I can think of, other than 'it's disgusting / weird / not normal' which is not at all a logical explanation, is that it is not beneficial to the society as a whole in terms of evolution. I'm ignoring religious reasons btw.
Firstly, offspring produced by people who are genetically related (at most by a few generations) have a higher chance of suffering from genetic diseases or disabilities, so it is harmful to the society as there will be more people who needs other people's care. So maybe that's one of the reasons why societies are so against things like incest.
Secondly, for love between the same gender, it's probably because there can't be any offspring so it is a waste of gene pools. It's like if there's a person who is very talented at certain areas, but does not (or refuses to) have any child, it's kind of like a waste of his genes because they can't be passed down.
So it seems to me as though ultimately society chooses what a person wants and can do. The only reason why homosexuality seems more accepted than incest is because no child is better than mentally retarded child?
Maybe there are other logical reasons which I never find yet, because I don't really believe that 'it's disgusting / weird' can be considered as a good reason, because it's up to a person's taste. And one should not impose his own taste onto others right? Although it is true that most people use that as their personal reason for denouncing such behaviours, because others should not impose their personal opinion onto them as well. Ok now I'm confused >.<
Well it's probably cus I'm rather open to influence so I've seen all sorts of things already.
mmm maybe when man tasted the forbidden fruit, there's a forbidden forbidden fruit somewhere that makes him experience forbidden love. oh wow.

emotions of

I think my blog is probably a bit too public for comfort, to reveal about certain emotions.
I would try to be optimistic, but I suppose I tend towards the pessimistic side more often, so here goes.
If everyone's life has to have a purpose, I might have found one. But I think one purpose in life is not enough, it makes life boring, and it makes it not worth looking forward to. So I started looking for more purposes in life, to make it interesting, to make myself hopeful.
I have to confess here that my way of treating situations, and treat people, is a lot more emotional than logical. As a matter of fact I don't have much theories about life, nothing much to propose about, nothing much to contribute to people's way of thinking. My primary source of happiness comes from the emotional fulfillment I receive. That's why, I get lonely easily. It used to be easy to drive away the loneliness, but I realised I get affected by other people's negative emotions more and more easily. It's harder to forget about the loneliness that I have.
To drive away this loneliness, I came up with my own way of resolving - attaching myself to more people, to make myself ... worthy. That's why, I live for others. I live for others so that they can live.
You see me as a very spas person in a group of people, joking or being the joke, or taking part in a joke.
But when alone, especially on nights when I cannot sleep, I always think.
Who am I to you?
To you?
And you?
And you?
What about you?
What do you see in me? What I am good at? Why are we friends, not strangers?
Grades? Certain subject? Useful to have around? Bully target? Someone good to make use of?
I want to know, but I don't want to know. I don't want to face the reality where everyone is deemed selfish, favouring their own benefits before they benefit others. I want to live in a fairy tale, where the world is an utopia, where maybe the loneliness would go away.
Give me a reason, and I would sweep everything aside, for you.
Maybe, my care is not shown at all. Maybe...

the final struggle. or is it the final blow?

sometimes

sometimes I wish I can teleport, so that I can be with my friends when they need company.

Chemical of the Day - Fluorine

I didn't really want to do this chemical / element cus it's too bitchy. Yes take that fluorine is a bitch.
The thing about fluorine is that although it is in the same group as chlorine and friends, its chemical behaviour is the very extreme big brother type.
Simply put, spray a puff of fluorine on almost anything and it will burst into flames.
Never mind, moving on to more important things about fluorine, apart from how much of a bitch it is of course.
Name: Fluorine (teh bitch)
Formula: F2 (exists as diatomic molecule)
Phase at room temperature: Pale yellow gas (almost colourless unless concentrated)
Oxidation states: 0 (as F2), -1 (as everything else)

Reactions: something wonderful known as oxidising anything that it dislikes (which is basically almost anything)
Anyways, fluorine, being the most electronegative element of the periodic table based on one type of definition, is able to oxidise many objects. Fluorine in the form of F2 is very reactive due to its weak F-F bond, and of course its high tendency to gain 1 electron from other compounds to attain F-.

Inorganic:
Reaction between fluorine and an element usually brings its oxidation number to the highest number.
Fluorine is able to form ionic fluoride with all metals (except beryllium which is an equal bitch)
Solubility of metal fluorides are generally different from solubility of its respective chlorides and and bromides. (except for group 1 salts, since they are all soluble.)
For example, group 2 fluorides are generally insoluble, while their respective chlorides and bromides are all soluble. (As a matter of fact calcium chloride is so soluble that it absorbs moisture from the air)
Silver fluoride is soluble. (compare with silver chloride and the rest)
As number of fluorides present increases, solubility decreases.
While metal trifluorides and below are ionic solids, metal pentafluorides and above are volatile molecules. Metal tetrafluorides is the borderline, as ZrF4 is an ionic solid while GeF4 is a gas.
Gaseous fluorine can basically displace any less electronegative element which is the more electronegative element bonded to a compound. For example it displaces oxygen from water to form HF and O2.
It can react with noble gases below neon to form stable compounds. Examples are XeF4, HArF, RnF2.

Organic:
The main organic thing about fluorine is that it forms the strongest covalent bond in organic chemistry, ie the C-F bond. It is able to replace the hydrogen in hydrocarbons even at room temperature, forming C-F bonds as long as there is enough hydrogen / fluorine.
Other than that there's not much interesting things fluorine can do to organic compounds. I mean like it only rapes away hydrogen and more hydrogen. Oh, one of its compound, polyfluoroethene aka teflon, is the only material that a gecko cannot stick to. No prize at guessing what's it used for.

Uses:
Used as a fluorinating agent (surprise!) to produce other fluorine containing compounds, which are usually useful, such as hydrofluoric acid, teflon and other substances used as protective materials, because usually a fluorine something bond is very stable.

Other stuff:
Fluorine has noob F-F bond due to small size of atom resulting in repulsion between the atoms, causing the bond to be weaker as compared to say Cl-Cl.
Fluorine is the 13th most abundant element on earth! How lucky!
Fluorine has the highest first IE barring the other 2 noble gases.

Ok now gc will talk about random dota trivia. (wut)