fluid

Is it just me, or is there almost no change from the initial point even after an action was made?
Even if I'm 外柔内刚, the 刚 part requires certain specific requirements. I am still unable to achieve the requirements to be 刚, which is why I'm so fluid now. It's like water, it doesn't have a fixed shape and takes whatever the container wants it to be, it flows over obstacles bypassing it instead of conquering it.
There was a recent event that made me realise how little I understood my friend(s). Or maybe I do understand except I made use of the trust for my own purpose. I am just .... terrible.
I'm sorry. I always feel that the injury did not mend.