Quotes of 2011

Hihi. As promised here's the quotes I've collected for 2011. Ranging from lame to retarded to sick and funny, all names shall be censored for privacy (erhem). It's amusing to laugh at your own epicness sometimes :P
'Just cut it off la, it's useless anyway.' - with regard to breast cancer
'There there.' - original and copyrighted?
'I expected them to strip.' - referring to bus driver's strike
'时间飞到了天上，然后被雷劈死了。' - lol time flies
'firetruck, pool cleaner, ice cream machine, tractor, air con.' - rotom!
'He has that sex face' - :O
'Put your handphone back to your wallet.'
'He was hugging it (teddy bear).' 'Oh shit I'm not going to hug it anymore.'
'You are content if you eat food, you are content when you have shelter underneath your head.' - underneath your head
'They (seniors) come in all shapes and sizes'
'I read (manga) until question....' - do too much homework
'If I look stupid he looks dumb too.' - nah both of you are bimbos
'sian fanyi has degenerated from confused to retarded :O' - >.<
'You know what's the secret (to look young)? It's not SKII, it's to give birth to two children, then thye will drive you crazy. You have to run after them, entertain them, you will be exercising all day long.'
'Tomato, lettuce, cheese. The perfect sandwich.' 'Who's in the middle?' 'Lettuce' (sudden realisation) 'OH MY GOD.'
'Xiangyu is mine' - sry I can't censor the subject o.o
'Can we cross multiply...' 'NO' 'I didn't even finish my question :(' - math lecture was interesting
'Are you confused? You look married.'
'Ok I'm awake now. Apparently I'm the sleepy one.' - math lecture was interesting 2
'Ooooh! That one is Jie Hui's, don't touch!!' - we all know the subject of this
'Ok I know that too (the song Friday), it's so disturbing.' - it IS catchy..
'I dunno...I thought I was a girl too...' - face it you are the hottest and nicest guy in our class anyways o.o
'There are creatures like that. Oh, did I just say that?' - referring to strict econs markers
'For example your neighbour grows corn, you grow chicken.'
'I kept a cockroach as a pet. I was desperate.' - while cockroaches run away from me..
'I like killing cockroaches, but I don't like dissecting.' 'Technically dissecting cockroaches is killing it slowly.' 'Oh ok I love it.' - sadistc tendencies~
'Why would his heart pump faster if he sees something that he sees everyday?' - chest hair, but whose?
'Actually did you realise by now that your physics teacher is my husband?' 'HUH? WHAT? OH MY GOODNESS? WHAT? HUH?'
'We were JC schoolmates.' 'AWWWWWWW' 'That's a bad example to discourage students from doing things other than your four H2s in JC.'
'Let's assume that baoxian is an average person, while fanyi is obviously not.'
'I'd rather be a mushroom.' - she accepted her fate
'Eh fanyi don't you dare drop me. If you drop me I'll just stick to the ground.' - we thought fac outing involves carrying people
'She (econs tutor) looks very young. Tell her that.'
'What is this? Carbon caesium chloride sodium chloride. See I can create a new compound just like this. Oh no why am I so random today.' - cus you're a nerd :P
'In some society in Africa, when the young reaches 16, instead of going NS, they go to the ant's nest. Oh I just thought of this by myself.'
'Eh, don't disturb lower life forms (mushroom)' '..What?' - I think someone will argue that mushrooms are higher life forms
'Turn them (people) into food.' 'Zongchen I expected that from Joshua, not you!'
'I think it's (bio prac) inside your bag, it's like so big.'
'(VERY LOVINGLY) Jie hui, jie hui, jie hui.....' 'EH FANYI DUN BLOCK'
'I shall give up on Joshua and move on.'
'You are almost as sick as me.'
'You damn lame eh.'
'I'm 'just' on top of him.'
'There is 'nothing' between Jiehui and I' - not even cloth
'I guess I'm useless, no one ever listens to me.'
'If you are 'I' then I'm autistic' - introversion
'Or you can refer to the Campbell...eh where are all my books arh??'
'Ok, go do it.' 'HUH?? What about your just say no?'
'It (gas syringe) is friction less not frictionless.'
'I'm a firefighter by title.'
'Who 重色轻友?' 'You lah.'
'What sex face?' 'You lah.' -different people btw
'I see more nods on this side (other side start nodding) Nod only when you understand!'
'I love that, teach less learn more.'
'If your friend is sleeping can you wake them up to draw the diagram? You are not being very friendly with them.'
'This (drawing of mushroom) is so lopesided. Can you at least draw it cuter?'
'I'm your greatest obstruction to success.' - haiz pw
'But I like prac.' 'Because you slack mah.'
'I like Mr Tan.'
'I want Ms Tsang. Eh shit! Later Ms Tsang see. Nevermind la I think she know I like her.'
'Imagine they (joshuas) are sick, how will that affect you?' 'They do not affect us.' 'I have obviously chosen the wrong people, everyone is happy when they are sick.'
'Got boyfriend fetch.' 'Creative answer, you will never know.'
'I'm just kidding. No I'm just jealous.'
'What way will Germany have a net surplus (of export).' 'They export a lot of Jews.' 'NEXT.'
'Chingyee country.' 'Mushroom land!' 'Mushroom land is Super Mario what.'
'If we put 'excellent' for everything can we get bonus marks for lecture test?' 'No Kerry, integrity!'
'When you are a foetus in your womb, no I mean your mother's womb.'
'I shall break the bond between you.' - break bond btwn jiehui and jiaching?
'Precaution: don't swallow the chemical.' 'What kind of lame precaution is that? Only fanyi does that.' - nuuu
'Steam fly in your face.' 'Then your cornea drop off.'
'There is no hot guy in our class.' 'Oh I know, chingy.'
'Concentration of water in water is 0.9 gasp.' - I uh am creative
'I would rather have weird scandals with jiehui.'
"'Do you believe in an alternative dimension that exist alongside ours?' What drugs have you all being eating?"
'Awesome!'
'AWWWWWWW'
'Do you think roads grow from the soil?' - development
'Stop making your replication bubble.' - obsessed with balloons
'GG all the way.' 'Can you please keep quiet I'm trying to listen.'
'(jiehui asks a question) Ok let's get someone to answer, Jiaching can you answer for jiehui?' 'AWWWWWWW' 'Eh what did I do?' 'You did something good.'
'(looks at 11S7D family tree) This tree is weird.'
'Sec 1 to 4 I can do none (pull ups). C1 I can do 8.' 'Because of girls right?' 'Because of guys.'
'I officially like Ms Tsang. I officially like Ms Tsang. She so nice...'
'Esther I'm very disappointed with you, I didn't know you are that sick!'
'How do you make a sperm?' 'Uh it's called meiosis.'
'我发现了你就是个萝莉控。'
'Jiaxi can make sperms.' 'Ya lor.'
'Menquan is now a wet pussy. And thamsy wetted him.'
'Who is Kelvin Tan.' - cough our mentor cough
'Don't tell me you wan Sirius.' 'No my crush in Harry Potter is Oliver Wood ok.'
'Because on that day I will be registering my ROM.' 'AWWWWWW'
'The prawn soup should taste very good. (taste) 他妈的 chicken smell too strong.'
'You know guys should eat more prawns, cus it's good for their erhem.' 'Oh no wonder the guys sit at one table cooking prawn soup lah.'
'Joker should not eat too many prawns, otherwise he becomes prawn cracker.' 'Then I can eat you.' - yup 'eat'
'The prawns should leave inside and eat last.' 'Cus ray yan likes rock-solid stuff.'
'You all don't watch 爱? Losers.'
'Maybe it is a trap for those who listen to them and not use the easy method. I shall not fall for your trap Cambridge.'
'Would you prefer mock meat or mushroom?' 'Of course mushroom lah.' 'I know you all prefer me, but it is disturbing.'
'Why not we don't get it (class test result) back today, and spend the time playing hangman?' 'No.'
'She refused to accept my facebook request leh.'
'Ask for help if you need it.' 'Help!'
'I bet your com will not work if it is not something 变态.' - nuuuu my com is awesome
'I don't have assets.'
'Do you think you are going to appreciate unemployment?' ’Appreciate means we like it?' 'No!'
'Is this tutorial?' 'Yes.' 'Ok I dao you.' - rofl dislike ppl who do tutorial early
'See lah I lose mark to uphold the truth.'
'Generally increasing.' 'Ok 1 point, what is the second point?' 'I'm content with 1 mark.'
'Who's Deborah How?' 'The face damn white one.' 'JOSHUA FOO!!' 'Is she pregnant?' 'She's a Miss.' 'She's not pregnant?!' 'I will tell her that you said that.' 'Does she have very fair complexion?' 'Yes, she puts on rather heavy make-up.' 'Like a geisha.' 'You can continue recording.'
'Seriously, xiangyu is cute.'
'Oh you don't play Farmville. Losers!'
'Homosexuality happens in jail.' 'This is the fallacy of idiocy.'
'Yes Kerry.' 'You cannot always call from the same group.' 'You cannot always say the same answer.'
'Kerry, why you so noob, keep falling asleep.'
'I don't know. Oh did you see that ant?' 'Red herring!'
'Ok fanyi.' 'B.' 'B, baoxian issit?' 'AWWWWW'
'Look at my face, serious ah! (laughs)'
'Cus I'll only be seeing you twice (next week)' 'Huh why?' 'Cus your GP tutor wants to have that lessons.' 'AWWWW'
'(Desperately and longingly) Where's Jia Wei?'
'Are you waiting for Jia Ching?' 'No.' 'But we sang 'you belong with him' two times!'
'Who has done your essays?' 'No one will ever do essays.' '(someone raises hand) NO don't raise your hand.'
'I love Ms Tsang.'
'I'm officially issuing you a challenge. The challenge is to crash Bio O and get scolded.'
'You know which school Ms Tsang is from? You don't know? Do you know how old she is? You don't know?'
'Baoxian is tormenting me enough... (sees me writing) no no no baoxian is very nice.'
'Chenghao, why are you becoming naughty?'
'Fanyi I prefer your 小妹妹.'
'Jiaching you proliferate with who?!' 'I proliferate with...what the hell.'
'Chingyee it's not even gay porn why are you reading it?' - pokemon manga is addictive you know o.o
'Maybe you will exist in an alternate reality.' ' Are you on drugs?'
'You have error carried forward in Physics because it shows that you have problems with your maths not your physics.' - explains why there's no error carried forward for maths, blah
'Turtle.' 'Yes m'am.' 'You are very 欠扁 right now.'
'I made such a funny pun just now.' 'Oh my god I did it again.' - my name is funny o.o
'How many of you have done your inflation tutorial? Wahh that's good there are two!'
'I love the lab.' - Im surprised thamsy said this
'Why you wetting me? Thamsy likes to wet people.' - tsk tsk
'Triangular theory of love.' '三角恋.' 'ERHEM FANYI ERHEM' 'Wut.'
'Problem-solving? I have enough of PW.'
'Lucky Esther never came back with a German accent.'
'You are not innocent, you are ignorant.'
'When you drop down you die.' - only one person is capable of making jokes with regard to drop down bar in websites
'Poking is mine.' - fine domi
'You go to guys still ok.' - preference of scandals
'I love PW!' - I will also say this next year.
'我是大叔控.'
'It's the guys who are moving about, chionging for the specific sites.'
'Wah, this primary five class.' - 11S7D primary 5 class XD
'Pikachu h**ping Pikachu.' 'That will be such an electrifying experience.'
'See Jiaching did his tutorial, he's the model student.' 'Because he's the bio rep.' 'Xiangyu also did his.' 'Because he top in bio.' 'Jiehui also did his.' 'Uh cus he's jiaching's wife.' 'Han Wee did too.' 'Because he's a mugger.' 'See Huiqi did also.' 'Uh you can see the pattern.'
'Oh yeah hor L is current, I remember now.'
'Benzene is 苯, 竹字头下面一个本, oh shit that's 笨.' - T.T
'Why all the smart people live at Chua Chu Kang?' 'I dun live there.'
'Playfulness is one of my strengths.'
'Chingy 你还少一个.' 'HUH我全部都切了！'
'NYANI?!' - chem o..
'I don't like maths.' - gc I also dun like
'Fanyi, stop it, I'm pure. Even though I'm horny cus I just played with my wife.'
'Did you jizz on your wife?' 'No, I never reach climax yet.'
'I want to remain pure and innocent.' - not in this class
'How about five parliament members and your mom?' 'Oh parliament members not important.' - weighing the importance of mom and parliament members
'I like to play war games, such as counterstrike.' 'No wonder so violent.'
'I'll marry KOI. It's sweet and chewy.' 'But it's not a rock.' 'Aiya got rock get rock, got KOI get KOI lor.'
'切这里，切那里，切切切。'
'I'm going to taint your mind, fill it with so much stuff that you will regret it.' - I think your threat doesn't work on people who tend to self-censor
'You want do pratical?' - on...?
'If you suddenly hear a girl scream it must be fanyi.'
'SL. Service Learning. Who service who?'
'Jiaching is the best.'
'GP is the time for relaxing.'
'Why are you all sitting together? This looks dubious.'
'I can reach it (top of screen) ok.' 'Are you sure?'
'Can you give us hints for promos?' 'First hint is it is not easy. Second you must study hard. Thirdly you must study very hard.'
'What's your surname again?' 'Cao.'
'龟头小男孩。'
'Fanyi's scream is worse than a girl.'
'The hot cleavage thing.' - oxidative cleavage o.o
'谁可以resist.'
'My hair very stiff, just like ... (looks down)'
'I heard my name. 谁在叫这么好听的名字？'
'I used to be straight until I came to this class.'
'Ah!' 'Joshua don't bully xiangyu, pick someone of your own size!' 'Dun have.' 'Ah!' 'Xiangyu you also dun bully joshua, pick someone of your own size!' 'Dun have.'
'Joshua you should copy down the answer.' 'I'll borrow later.' 'How are you sure he'll lend.' 'I'll borrow this.' 'How are you sure he'll lend?' 'Then I'll steal.'
'Who's your favourite couple in this class?' 'But I don't know any couple in this class.' 'There's Jiehui and Jiaching only.'
'I have sex with him every night, but I wear a condom and he doesn't, so who has it (STD)?' 'Depends on which hole you talking about.'
'你的华文成绩都是泡老师泡出来的。' - wut my chinese is pro ok
'Kerry yuo're supposed to do your PW not do Jiaching.'
'Why you forever so cool Jiaching, I want to be like you.'
'Sappy hopeless romantic bleeding heart perfect boyfriend.'
'You just got poh-ed!'
'I'm so pure and innocent!'
'We should start a snail rights movement!'